Let it snow, let it snow, let it snow......

When I was young, my main chore was to be the pooper scooper at our house.

We had a normal size dog. A beagle variety. Normal. What wasn't normal was the amount of dung this animal could produce. You would think I was searching for treasure in my backyard with the amount of time I spent scooping and digging.

But one year I had a plan.

It was the middle of winter and the snow had begun to accumulate. We would often open the back door and let our dog do its "thing"(usually in one spot that was closer to the house...it was cold!!) It was then my job to go out with my trusty shovel and scoop said poop up. But I had had enough. It was bad enough having to do it on a sweltering day....but with bone-chilling temperatures and snow up to my knees.... This was enough! Snow up to my knees. Sheesh...Snow....up...to....my knees! Hey wait!

That was it! There would be no more scooping! I could just simply cover the offending piles with pretty piles of white, fresh snow! It was simple genius! And no one would be the wiser. (mwuuuhaahaaaaaahahaha!)

As the days went by, my disposition was always one of cheerfulness when asked to do my said duty. No more "Ahhhh mom....not now!" or "Crud.....can't I do it tomorrow?". When asked I would gladly put on my coat, hat, mitten, sweater, boots, and scarf and then head out into the frigid cold. Moments later I would return. Still cheerful. Still unscathed. Still a genius!

But as the frigid weeks began to come to an end....I saw my plan had a serious flaw.

I had not figured out what to do when a thaw would come along. I naively (or creatively) thought that maybe somehow...well.... the snow would dissolve the rascals like acid during that time. But it was not to be. I watched in slow horror as the snow melted and began to give clues to my evil winter deed. Each one of those beauties was so perfectly preserved from the snow and ice, it would have made National Geographic proud.

I thought I had gotten away with the perfect crime. Rid myself of a hideous chore. Gave myself a small bit of freedom. To the contrary, my parents were absolutely mortified to see that in one portion of our yard, we had enough fecal matter to give a small, third-world country methane energy.

As I went out with a backhoe to clean up my mess, I looked up at the graying sky. It was beginning to snow. A tiny, perfect snowflake landed on my nose. And a single tear streamed down my cheek. I finally knew the true meaning of winter.

Okay..that last part didn't happen. Except for the tear.....but that was from my eyes watering from the smell.